The Dating Life Of A Middle Aged Man
I really like to journal, but I am away from pen and paper for so much of the day, that I decided to put together a "blod" just chronicling my dating life. I was married for 15 years, and although I have had a lot of dates in the last few months, the experience has left me unsatisfied.
One of the problems is that I am not meeting the women I would really like to date, or the women I do date have zero spark for me.
What is it I am looking for? What am I hoping to find? After being married for so long, I really don't want to get married again in the near future. I guess part of my problem is that I am making myself feel better about myself by dating as many women as possible, to bolster my self esteem or convince me that I am still attractive and/or desirable as a person. Part of my problem is that I have always tended to define myself based on how I was perceived by females. I wish I could break out of that cycle, and perhaps be a guy who couldn't care less about women. Unfortunately, I have always cared way too much about women...or more precisely, about how many women wanted to be with me. I guess I have such a crushing lack of personal identity and self confidence that I feel like I am nothing unless an attractive women likes me or loves me.